Happy New Year everyone! As I reflect on the last 12 months, 2018 was a half way decent year. I managed to release Acquiescence, and in the interim got alot of work done on a couple other secret projects, some new Citizen 603 tunes as well as working dillegently on "The Darkest Of Summers", which is shaping up very nicely and will be out this year. (I have a release date, I'm just not gonna tell you right now)
Alas, the other half of the year was not-so-decent. Had to say goodbye to several people in my life that unfortunately left this world a bit too soon for my taste. As I get older I've become to take stock of what's important...it's the life you create with a positive perception and the people you surround yourself with and the experiences therein. You could be talking with someone today and tomorrow...they're gone. Always be conscious of that. Be kind, be respectful and be excellent to others.
Also, I've been tinkering with the art of letting go. Letting go of the past. Letting go of the future. Learning how to just be. Here and in the now. In the present moment. A few months ago I purchased “The Power Of Now” written by Eckhart Tolle. I’ll read a chapter or two here and there but by no means have been as dillengent as I should be to finishing it. From what I’ve read so far, I have been noticing a lil change. Just being aware. Being aware of the moments when I drift into la-la-land and begin to think of the "old days" or what the future may bring - being aware of those moments and pulling myself back into the present.
It’s tough...especially for someone like me who likes to dwell on the past. It’s become more than just a hobby. Hahaha. I am getting better it though...or at least becoming more self aware of my thought processes. At anytime I find myself going back down that rabbit hole, I quickly draw myself back into the present and focus on something here...it ain't easy tho. I’m afraid by spending too much time in the past or the future then I will miss out on the present. Miss out on spending time with my kids, sharing quality time with them, friends and other family members.
If you've noticed a trend or tone with my posts and some of the stuff I've created in the last couple of years, it always has that 80's/retro thing happening. In my defense, that whole scene has been very influential on both my video and music output for the last couple of years because, well I think it’s cool, fresh and innovative. Regardless if it’s just rehashing stuff from a decade that’s long gone, I like it...but lately I have started to analyze why exactly I'm so drawn to the whole "80's" thing.
Perhaps it's pure escapism. When I listen to say Synthwave music, watch old VHS tapes or listen to my 80s records, I am transported back to my childhood. Escaping back to a time of innocence and oblivion. A time where all that mattered was Nintendo, skateboarding and playing with my friends outside. So when I use this
I then began to question and confront my motives for why exactly I was drawn to this style or create with this aesthetic and realized that it may be doing more harm than good. As I said a couple paragraphs ago, I've been trying my best to be more present, more in the now. Even if I'm creating new music and new art, it still may be detrimental if it's always under the guise of being "retro" or has that 80’s thing happening.
Maybe I'm simply being to over-critical or hyper-aware of my creative process and should just let it be what it wants to be. I view my creativity as the exhaust or a manifestation of my thoughts and feelings. If I’m unable to articulate what is happening in me brain, then songs or music usually presents itself. I shouldn't try and filter the output or dictate how the stuff happens. I just need to let it happen, but still be mindful of my current surroundings and the decade I'm living in, hahah. However, judging by the stuff I have been writing in the last couple of weeks, I have a feeling that these styles and tones have been purged. It just needed to go through my system and get flushed outo...like shrimp cocktail.
Therein lies the conceptual and lyrical themes for "The Darkest Of Summers"
Anyway, sorry for the rant and/or bum ya out, just needed to get something’s off of my chest and set ya up for the new year. 2019 will be a very productive year for me. Not only do I have TDOS on deck to release, but there’s another album that’ll be released a several months later, with yet another one soon after that...oh and then there’s my dystopian rock opera...
So in final, be kind. Be respectful. Be excellent to each others. Be excellent to yourself.
Let go. Let go of the crap that happened years ago... because ya know what?? it’s already happened. You can’t change it anymore. Refocus that same energy on the here and the now. Your world is based on your perception and how you view it. Simply put, if you’re always elsewhere, always thinking about “the way things used to be”or saying “Man, those were the good old days”,then you’re missing out on the here and the now. The good stuff that’s happening in the present moment. Eventually the days you’re living in now will be “the good old days”.
It’s the only place that you can actually be.